The past few days has been really trying for me, with the breaking down of a relationship that I treasured deeply, and all the mid-semester exams as well as the upcoming assignment deadlines. Here are some thoughts and thanks:-
A relationship never breaks down due to the fault of one sole party. It takes 2 hands to clap. Nobody is perfect, and the more you think you are right, the more the chance that you are wrong.
If I had the chance to turn back time, and change something, I might choose to do things differently. But looking back, I think I tried my best, and gave my best. Sometimes your best just isn't enough though. Don't blame yourself. Too much.
Assumptions and presumptions tend to kill off all other thoughts. They will only lend strength to themselves until they grow big enough to kill you.
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Thanks to all who has been great listeners and stuck by me throughout this time, listening to me pour out my woes, and lent me your shoulders. Your advice, whether good or bad, helpful or useless, wanted and unwanted, taken or discarded, are all deeply appreciated.
Thanks to my friend, who despite having her own relationship problems, still gamely listened to me talk about my own, and offered me advice from your own pool of experience. To tell the truth though, I didn't know how to react when you cried the other night. I was wondering if I should cry with you or just ride it through. Crying myself would have only made things worse so I'm glad I didn't.
Thanks to another one of you, who talked to me on MSN, mostly listening to me and giving great and sound advice, providing happy thoughts and topics of toilet paper, and abandoning me briefly for Australian Idol. Your words are deeply taken to heart.
To my best buds in Singapore, who banded together in a great show of tele-conferencing and kept me company till the wee hours of the night, and diverted the sad topic away to all manners of nonsense and rubbish worthy of the kings and queens of bullshit, you are all loved. I hope that staying up didn't affect your productivity the next day at work though.
To my best buds in Australia, thanks for bearing with my gloomy looks these days, and not uttering a single word of complaint. For the offer to accompany me wherever I want to, and for being with me every spare minute while I was not in lectures or tutorials. You made the days more bearable, to say the least. And keep those lame jokes going, just leave me out of it. =P
To Joel and Raine, who were by my side the day the shit started rolling down the hill. I hope the pancakes were nice, though I didn't have any appetite for it. Thanks for bothering to come and listen to my side of the story, instead of jumping to conclusions. I hope you do realise that I am not as great an asshole as many others might think. Listening to both sides of a story do make a huge difference, doesn't it? Let's go out again soon.
To Danny, for all the late nights out at a moment's notice, for picking me up, staying with me, before sending me home again. I know the petrol is not cheap. I'll treat you to bananas.
To even those whom I do not know, yet offered valuable and mature advice to her, I may not know who you are or what you said, but you are appreciated.
To my parents(who won't be reading this), thanks for being the observant parents you are, and staying silent all this while though I can see that you have plenty to ask. I will tell you more in due time.
To all who have showed care and concern, even by keeping quiet and just being there, you guys were absolutely great.
To herself, whom I know tried really hard. We had good and bad memories, but I remember more of the good. Sadly though, I guess we were just not meant to be. I've read your blog, but I think there is nothing to be sorry about. All the best.
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I'll miss you