It's time to let go of certain things, though I want to and don't want to at the same time. I miss the good times all these years, but I'm not happy staying on. Or am I? I don't know as well. But it's bugging me deep down inside. I guess the unhappiness slowly built up inside, and yet, I was forbidden to speak of it. Now it's all come to a head. And everybody is unhappy about it. Should I make a clean break of everything? I know I'll lose much, but when you reach ground zero, everything that comes next is a bonus and a blessing.
Someone said that I have a strong sense of justice in me, and when something triggers that sense of justice in me, the whole world may drop down, but I'll still tell the whole world to fuck off. That same person told me that while that may not be a bad thing, it is still a double-edged sword. I know. I know all too well. How many times have I faced a situation where I know it's easier to just take the trail and back down, instead of standing my ground and putting my foot down? I always thought it was a good thing to stand up for what you believe in. I thought that people who choose to always take the easy way out and follow the crowd are like sheep being led anywhere. Perhaps those people have always been right. Fuck the voice of reason. I've always followed it and look where it led me. I haven't lost everything, but I sure am close to it, at least with regards to the stuff that I really set close to my heart.
Damn me. Damn the world.
Labels: Sadness